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Fandoms post: Nocti's fandoms (tag)
Ask anything you want, at any time, anon or no
Anna. 26 (1988). Leo/Dragon. ISxJ. Type 5. Gryffindor stanning Hufflepuff. A fraternal twin. Celibate heterosexual cis woman. White. Finnish. Living Tallinn, Estonia. Atheist. Lawblr. Nightowl. Introvert. Feminist. 3 tattoos and counting. Bachelor's in English from JYU. Tallinn Law School.
My privileges: White, cis, middle class, thin, able body and mind, straight, higher education
A Tags post is a work in progress.
Co-mod of fuckyeahfredgunn and fuckyeahtrimmons
Characters I stan:
Angel (AtS), Connor Angel/Reilly, Steve Rogers, Seeley Joseph Booth, Jaye Tyler, Little My, Laurel Lance, Skye
Characters I will defend to death(includes stanning obsessions):
Cordelia Chase, Darla, Dawn Summers, Hannah Burley (fuck you Bones fandom)
Cangel, Brennan/Booth, JD/Elliot, Paige/Lucas, Frunn, Pepperony, Steve Rogers/Peggy Carter, Trimmons, me/whoop ass
I try to take a ‘live and let live’ approach to any fandom (or group) I belong to. I am not always perfect at it, but for the most part, if something annoys me, I just literally and/or metaphorically keep scrolling. However, I feel strongly enough about the topic of Demily that I want to express my thoughts on it.
I feel like there are three main ‘definitions’ or camps (for lack of a better word) of Demily:
- Just a literal portmanteau of David and Emily
Here it’s used primarily in the same way someone would use initials like ED/DB or HH/SN. Relatively harmless, and…well, not lazy necessarily, but taking the easy way out in terms of spelling. Basically *not* a reflection on the personal relationships of the people being named, i.e. taking advantage of the fact that “hey, did you see that Demily interview” uses fewer characters than “hey, did you see that David and Emily interview” etc.
- Affectionate Friendshipping
Hey, ED and DB *are* magic together…and they work hard at it for our benefit! It’s the reason Emily got the part of Brennan (she read well with David, who had already been cast), and it’s the reason David became a lead—their chemistry was so great, they reexamined the series premise and asked him to come on full time. I am glad that happened! It’s also a main, main, main reason the show has been renewed for season ten. Like Hart Hanson tweeted…
It requires buy-in from the audience to keep tuning in, and their (I believe) genuine camaraderie off-screen has helped fuel the B&B affection for one another. I don’t have any official proof of this, but I think when a show starts its run, actors and actresses are asked to let the on-screen relationship ‘spill over’ into the media portrayal of their real lives. This isn’t contained to romantic relationships—-for example, when Enlisted started, the show made a point to showcase the brotherly affection as a main theme by putting Stults, Lowell and Young together as much as possible.
I think it is okay to appreciate the professional relationship/camaraderie that Emily and David have together. They seem to support one another, whether it’s David kicking everyone out from the set when they filmed the S4 finale bed scenes or Emily holding his hand at the Fox Upfronts before S6 when he was going through some personal stuff. The support and affection throughout the past decade is admirable. But it doesn’t have to be inherently romantic. Which leads me to…
- “Leave your families for one another” shipping
ED and DB (and others) have said that it wouldn’t really be possible to enjoy their work and continue doing it if they didn’t get along, and I believe them. I think they also sort of know what the general online fandom audience wants and they only publicly discuss what they like about one another. That is very professional, and that is very nice. I’m not saying it’s not genuine, but just keep in mind that if someone is your favorite actor or actress because of what they put out there on TV week after week, they have the chops to ‘turn it on’ in media interviews. They are just doing their jobs.
When they are done filming, they (like many, many actors and actresses) go to their own homes and have their own lives. These lives include spouses and children. When people use “Demily” to ship David and Emily romantically, they are essentially rooting for the shattering of families.
Many families have experienced that and survived, and in some cases possibly turned out for the better in the long run, but it seems wrong to actively root for it based on the fact that…oh, I don’t know, ED and DB are about the same height or they used nice (if not a little spicy) words to describe one another. Because they keep their family lives (relatively) private, it can be easy to compare what is real (their lives) with what sometimes *feels* real—the media portrayal and promotion of their show/Booth&Brennan’s relationship.
How ED and DB portray Booth and Brennan’s current affection for one another on-screen is another topic for another day. But sometimes I do wonder what it would be like to have entire sites/twitter accounts/Tumblr pages/fanfic stories dedicated to the idea of me leaving my spouse for a co-worker. It just seems so surreal. I don’t know if they even know those kinds of things exist out there (i.e. the groans of “She married the wrong David!” when ED got married, or any sort of fanfics regarding sexy times in between takes). Either way, for me, I think it’s counter-intuitive. If we love ED and DB, we should be rooting for their personal happiness, not using them for pawns in our own chess game of personal happiness/fate.